To solve the political crisis our country is facing, I have decided to be the first golfer to announce my entry into the Presidential race. Since Ike did a pretty good job I think it is high time another golfer entered the race.
My platform:
1. As President/golfer I will handle all government required procedures in 4.5 hours or less.
2. TAX REFORM: I will give tax breaks to all golfers.
3. EDUCATION POLICY: The Golfing Machine will be required reading in all schools.
4. Air Force One will be replaced by a bullet-proof Club Car created by "Q" at MI6.
5. Whenever the President enters any vehicle it automatically becomes Golf Force One.
6. The White House will be renamed The Club House.
7. All Secret Service agents must have a 5.0 handicap index or lower.
8. All Marines must salute the President with a flat left wrist.
9 . Homer Kelley's birthday will be a national holiday.
11. IMMIGRATION POLICY: All persons wishing to immigrate to the U.S. must be able to recite the 3 Imperatives and then take a 20 lesson series from a TGM instructor before gaining residency status.
12. G.S.E.D's (current or present) will be given Cabinet positions.
13. Golf will be the national sport, and all TGM Instructors will be given badges that permit speeding and will have government cars will bright yellow strobe flashers.
These are the foundation points of my Presidential platform, if you have any other suggestions please notify me using this forum or send email to: wewantagolferforpresident@savetherepublic.com
This message brought to you by The Foundation to Get a TGM'er in The White House. I am B.J. Hathaway and I endorse this message.
__________________ Hitting the Ball is the easiest part of the game-hitting it effectively is the most difficult. Why trust instinct when there is a science."1-G.
P.S. If you were at Cuscowilla you will be given a government job and a membership at Congressional....if you vote for me
__________________ Hitting the Ball is the easiest part of the game-hitting it effectively is the most difficult. Why trust instinct when there is a science."1-G.
14. HEALTHCARE POLICY: Since golf is played outdoors and is considered exercise, golfers will be given reduced health care insurance cards.
15. BANK REFORM: Banks must issue golfers with 0% interest loans and credit cards with presentation of Handicap Index Card.
16. FOREIGN POLICY: The U.N. will be disassembled and be replace by the UGN (United Golf Nations). Whoever wins the Ryder Cup basically gets to run the world for 2 years, provided they do not break the by-laws of the USGA or R&A.
17. All cities and towns with a population of 10,000 or more will be granted Federal funds to build a golf course with bent grass greens.
18. We will build de-salinization plants and/or steal water from Canada to make sure that the bent grass greens stay perfect.
19. All Presidential speeches will be carried on The Golf Channel.
20. Keri Murphy is my first pick for V.P.
__________________ Hitting the Ball is the easiest part of the game-hitting it effectively is the most difficult. Why trust instinct when there is a science."1-G.
Where will you hold your outdoor press conferences? I suggest ditching the Rose Garden and addressing the world from the 18th green at -- where else? -- the Augusta National! And, in keeping with the world's new casual nature, still in your golf clothes.
You should even be given your own cottage there for use when you are 'in residence'. After all, Ike got his . . . why not you?
Where will you hold your outdoor press conferences? I suggest ditching the Rose Garden and addressing the world from the 18th green at -- where else? -- the Augusta National! And, in keeping with the world's new casual nature, still in your golf clothes.
You should even be given your own cottage there for use when you are 'in residence'. After all, Ike got his . . . why not you?
I was thinking underneath the big oak tree at the club house. As my appointed Secretary of Instruction you will have ANGC membership and full use of the Eisenhower cabin.
By the way, two changes regarding golf in the U.S.
1. Pants vs. shorts gives an instant distinction between pro and amateur golfer.
2. Beverage cart girls will be replaced with jolly old men in cardigans who carry a grand assortment of the finest cigars, cognac and single malt scotch and can tell grand tales. Speaking of which......cart girls will be sent one per hole to help look for lost golf balls. They will be hot and wear mini-skirts year round. If you have to lose a $4.00 Bridgestone you may as well get something out of it
__________________ Hitting the Ball is the easiest part of the game-hitting it effectively is the most difficult. Why trust instinct when there is a science."1-G.
B. J. Hathaway, G.S.E.B., M.C.I.
Hybrid Mode
